There I stood typing out my IC number before nervously sending it. My hand shaked constantly and a cold sweat ran down my spine, I sat there waiting with anxious doubt that I would probably be choosen for the National Service Programme.
"You have one new message"
My heart beat, and I grabbed the phone as fast as I could and opened the message. My face went pale. My blood vessels constricted and I stood there frozen in time.
"Tahniah! -insert really private and confidential info here- telah dipilih untuk menyertai PLKN Siri 6/2009"
A tear wanted to shed, I had no other choice, I felt like a cornered prey waiting to be devoured because theres nothing I could do. There on the screen, on my msn, my idiotic friend (Hint: His name rhymes with Lemon) giggled and laughed virtually. I didn't know what to say. How do I tell this to my mom and dad? How would they take it? Will my family and friends look down on me as the little black sheep who was unlucky enough to end up on the death list? I asked myself what did I do to deserve this? Even though I m partially atheist I prayed to god the night before, saying that I personally wouldn't like to go and it was best if I didn't go, but it was at his hand of decision to make that decision for me.
At that moment I didn't know who to believe, god? SAVE ME. It rang through my mind. My parents saw me hitting my forehead against the keyboard and asked whats wrong. I showed them my phone message without saying a thing. They both got mixed feelings. My mom was like "OMG WHY ! WHYYY!!@" (Not so dramatic lah. ) and my dads like " YES! YEEEES! HES FINALLY GONNA BE A MAN!" ( PS: He really did say that. ) I didn't know who to talk to cause my mom was like the most depressed and wilting willow you can find and my dad is filled with glorious sunshine. My mom hit him with a pillow.
But personally now, I believe its faith, I have no other choice, I just have to adapt and endure it. Perhaps I will actually learn something instead of screaming on the top of my lungs that theres a leech on my elbow? Maybe. Maybe not. But rest assure I will be very home sick no matter how hard headed I am to hide these feelings. I once went through a camp for prefects just for one night and I couldn't sleep knowing that I am wasting a precious night without my family. And I m worried I might never be able to see them again .. never to pet my dogs fur .. never to go online and prevent Andrew from watching pokemon .. never to see my mom and dad in the dim of dawn.
Right now, the only thing I wanted to do is to try to slowly express my nervous and anxious feelings over NS and become optimistic. The only sheild that I want to carry into the NS camp is the fact that I know my family and friends would think about me every night I am not home. This is truly the wish I want, for I do not want to be forgotten by my family and friends. (Accept my brother, he can have the computer to himself for 3 months, sheet! have to delete private files@! ) But if any family or friends who is reading this, or atleast you, as a stranger, please think about me during my days in training during the night. I could never sleep knowing that I am forgotten. Please help me fulfill this wish ..
WELCOME.
P O E M S
place where I put my poems.
Bloodlust
Walking through the hard rocking ground,
Snifing through the air like a grey hound,
Hunger drives the animal through,
It is waiting for an unlucky fool,
The scent of the unfortunate prey is near,
The prey should be trembling in fear,
As the moon arises to the sky,
Red-shot eyes that petrifies,
Edged-sharp teeth is revealed,
The fur of the animal is concealed,
As it lies in wait for the right leap,
It jumps so high it lands a few feet,
Its teeth puncturing deep into the flesh,
Swirling, twisting, gushing and slash,
And at last the prey has died,
A tasty meal keeps the hunger satisfied.
© 2008 All copyright of the poems above belongs to me, and me only. So no dirty-fingers please. :DD
Y O U T U B E L O V E
one boy, two personalities.
=DDDDD
H I M S E L F
me myself and i :D
!Hullo. My name's John and umm, I own this blog? o_O I don't know what to write here, so I m just going to do a general introduction. I am sixteen years old, my birthday is on september 30 ( at the end of the equinox ), I absolutely adore dark poetry and basically any story that revolves around a suitable fantasy. I have the craziest friends ever, a naruto-obsessed zombie that goes by the name of Andrew, Kalai the only sane person in our group, Sharine the girl with issues with cookies and dieting and Mel the gossip girl of five-bee. So I guess thats it?
RANDOM FACTS
i m totally weird.
ONE I am allergic to caffeine. If I get even a sip or scent, I'll have a deep migraine and faint. TWO I ish left-handed! And its the natural-kind too. Even though I think differently from most people that are right-handed ( which is pretty cool ;D ) I cant help but admit that I m clumsy as heck. Also its hard when people ask you to break down information, lefties cant do that, they can only form information then find a pattern. THREE I am aquaphobic, it means I m afraid of being in a large mass of water, chyeah. FOUR I am a very superstitous-person. Its normal for me to believe in dark matter and other worldly energies. FIVE I am absolutely freaked out by any bug that eats plants. Its true, honest. I'll die of a heart attack when I m near a cockroach or a grasshopper, but I am fine with spiders. Infact I adore black widows and tarantulas :D SIX I love rainy-days. :D SEVEN I hate listing out long lists, so yeah this is cold-hard evidence ;)
T O D O L I S T
this should be useful.
-x-x-x-
D E D I C A T I O N S
to the people and things that i appreciate.
My dogs. ( Girly && Cohen )
Why? : Because they keep me accompany when i m down :(
Pn. Mariam. ( My biology teacher, no surprise right? )
Why? : For being so patient and sweet to us :DDD!
* Will add more in the future *
Optimism is my only friend.
4:24 AM - Wednesday, August 13, 2008
F L A S H B A C K
just incase you want to see my old posts.
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
S L A V E S
obey meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Lemon-king.
-x-
Paulineeee.
-x-
Steven.
-x-
Other slaves.
-x-
Other slaves.
